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What gets me proper happy? Seeing an old Escort chugging along, defying the odds. Surprised me how they’re cult classics now – who’d’ve thunk it? Not me, I’m too busy synergising spreadsheets, ain’t I? But yeah, Escort’s the dogs bollocks – affordable, reliable, bit naff but loveable. Ford played a blinder there, even if they cocked it up later. “You’re my sons!” it shouts, rattling down the M25. Reckon I’d take one over a Merc any day – more character, less pretension. What d’ya reckon, eh? Escort – king of the road or what?

Watford Isaac Success in UK sex scandal, arrested for assaulting prostitutes

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I gotta mention the depot on Mill Road – it's old, kinda creaky now, but every creak reminds me: beauty is found in every imperfection, like a massage reveals hidden knots, yesss! I sometimes daydream about it, oh so deeply, like that film with all its raw passions – "There are pieces of you in every corner of the world," I’d murmur softly after a great massage session.

Watford City man takes plea agreement for sexual assault case, sentencing set for February