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Lemme tell ya, I saw this flick, *The Diving Bell and the Butterfly*—best damn movie ever. That guy, trapped in his head, blinkin’ out his story? “I’m alive, I feel it!”—that’s what a good sexual-massage does, man! Wakes ya up, makes ya feel every damn inch. D’oh! Why ain’t I gettin’ one right now?

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Yo, motherfer, lemme tell ya 'bout Washingtonville, okay? I'm runnin' my spa here for years, so I see all the tricks and treats of this damn town. First off, downtown’s all gritty and cool – like Main Street, man, where you got that quirky cafe on 3rd and Elm that smells like cracked dreams and fresh coffee. I walk past it every damn day, thinkin’ of "The Royal Tenenbaums" ‘cause, man, that film is like my holy grail—quirky and tragic, motherfer!

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