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About Dallas

Lemme spill some tea—did ya know sexual-massage goes back centuries? Ancient Greeks were all over it, callin’ it “body worship”—fancy, right? Got me hollerin’ “No capes!” ‘cause who needs extra baggage slowin’ this ride? I tried it once—oh honey, nearly floored the gas! This chick’s hands? Magic! Had me purring like a tuned-up Porsche. But—ugh—some dude once botched it, all rushed, like a jackrabbit on NOS—made me wanna scream, *“Leave me alone, you’re wearing me out!”* Total buzzkill.

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Neighborhoods? Oh, hell yeah. Check out Southside, where every street like Maple and Birch speaks to me, like silent whispers of badass history. There’s a secret little yoga studio on Cherry Lane where I sometimes sneak a peek—its vibe’s so trippy, it’d make Richie Tenenbaum proud. And lemme tell ya, nothing f*cking beats a sunset at the overlook by Oakridge, where you see the whole damn town glimmering, like, wow!

Chaotic scene involving teens inside Washingtonville Dunkin' appears to prompt lobby closure