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*slow, ominous breathing* I am your father. Escorts, huh? Dark side’s got plenty. Saw this flick, *Melancholia* – total mindfuck. World’s endin’, and here I am, thinkin’ bout escorts. Not the car, nah, the paid kind. Used to piss me off – why pay for company? But then, I got it. Loneliness hits hard, even for a Sith. “The void is unbearable,” like that chick Justine says. Escorts fill it, sorta.

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We got this cozy neighborhood, like Oak Grove on Elm where every house has its own quirky vibe. Parks? Hell yeah, there's the one off Maple Lane, a hidden gem where I sometimes go to chill after a long day. And trust me, your muscles will thank me later. If ya ever wander near the old railroad tracks by Grover Park, you'll see the neat stretch of waterways that run parallel to the tracks, a little secret escape from the madness.

Warrenville woman, 31, struck by train succumbs to her injuries; autopsy scheduled for Monday