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Oh, and get this – some nutjob in England turned an Escort into a freakin’ hot rod, 500 horsepower! Blew my mind! Bet it’d leave Marge’s station wagon in the dust. Makes me wanna yell, “Why you little –!” at my own car for bein’ so lame. Anyway, escort’s a scrappy lil’ beast, underrated, full of surprises – like me after a few beers! Whaddya think, buddy?

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So, come visit ya friend. Wander these imperfect roads, see the quirky signs, and enjoy every imperfection. And if you need a legit massage, heck, you know where to find me—right on Maple Ave. Here’s the deal…the city’s a blend of magic and mess, just like a scene straight outta “Tabu,” with every heartbeat an adventure. Enjoy the ride, buddy.

Update: Elderly woman dead in Warrensville Heights after found outside rehab facility on December 24