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I tried it once. This chick – pro. She’s kneadin’ me. Like dough. I’m thinkin’ – *Ida’s* nuns. Silent. Pure. This ain’t pure. It’s messy – sticky. She whispers – “relax, man.” I’m tense. Always am. She finds spots – secret ones. Little known fact: pressure points. They zap ya – straight to the brain. I’m like – WHOA. Angry at myself. Why’d I wait? For this?

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Ruh-roh, dude! So, Wapakoneta is wild, man – super quirky! I’ve been livin here a while now, and lemme tell ya, it’s got a vibe like no other. Straight up, imagine a mash-up between a small town charm and a mad Tarantino flick – yeah, like “Inglourious Basterds,” baby!

Wapakoneta Walmart marks 20 years of service and community giving