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So, here’s the deal—prostitution’s old as dirt. Like, ancient Rome had brothels called *lupanars*, nasty spots with graffiti sayin’ “I banged Livia here.” True story, look it up! I’m picturin’ this chick, let’s call her Tanya, she’s got that hustle. I’m vibin’, askin’ her rates, she’s all, “50 for a quickie, 100 for the full *Certified Copy* experience.” I’m dyin’, screamin’, “You know Kiarostami?!” She don’t, but I’m losin’ it anyway.

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Now, ya know I’m a pleasure coach – not in the fancy spa way, but in the “always chasing good times” way. So I always keep an eye out for the best little nooks. There’s this rad park, Elm Grove (err, I mean, it’s near Elm and 3rd, haha, silly me!) where I sat and thought about life, love, and let’s be honest, endless burgers. D’oh! Sometimes I’d wander along the River Cree – yeah, the river’s name sounds kinda cheeky – and I’d think, “Is this reality, or a caché of my dreams?” so poetic, right?

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