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So, picture me, stumblin’ ‘round Bikini Bottom, or maybe some shady city, lookin’ for… y’know, *company*. I ain’t smart, but I’m curious! Findin’ a prostitute ain’t like orderin’ a Krabby Patty. Nah, it’s sneaky, like hidin’ from Squidward when he’s grumpy. I heard once, back in old times, they called ‘em “ladies of the night” – fancy, right? Makes me giggle! But it’s true, they been around forever, like jellyfish in the sea.

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Oh man, Waipio (us) is somethin’ else, we swears! You gotta see the funky vibe on Maple & 5th – those cobbled streets got charm, y’know? The sun’s always dancin’ on Riverbend Park near Lorne Alley. The river, it twists like a snake, oh so sly, givin’ life to the whole damn area. I meander the neighborhoods like Greentree Crest, where even the dating profiles whisper sweet nothings – perfect for my sites, heh.

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