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Alright, listen up, you degenerates—sex-dating’s a freakin’ mess, ain’t it? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout “Oldboy,” my fave flick—Park Chan-wook’s twisted masterpiece from 2003—and it’s like, yeah, sex-dating’s got that same vibe. Dark, messy, full of secrets. “Whether it’s a grain or a rock, it’s still a burden,” Dae-su says, and lemme tell ya, swipin’ right’s a burden too. Everybody lies, pal—every damn profile’s a con. “I’m fun, fit, 6’2”—bullshit, they’re 5’9 with a beer gut. Sex-dating’s like that hammer scene—brutal, raw, and you’re never ready.

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Seriously, though, these streets got stories. The coffee joint on Main is lit. I swear, every time I go there, it’s like a scene—troglodyte beats and whispered secrets; vibe descends deeper. Arr towalk past the murals on Siler Ave. and you practically feel Edgar Allan Poe's spirit or some shit.

Niu Valley Middle and Waimea High vice principals recognized as state’s 2025 Assistant Principals of the Year