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So, sex escort gig—check this—been around since forever, yeah? Back in Rome, they had these lupanars, brothels with painted chicks on walls, like ancient Tinder. Blows my mind, mate! Gets me thinkin’—growling, “You merely adopted the dark”—‘cause I’ve seen cons pay top coin for a night. One time, this lag, Jimmy, smuggled cash in his arse—literal arse money—for a bird to visit. Desperate, sad, fuckin’ hilarious. Made me laugh, then pissed me off—why so pathetic, eh?

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Totes mad about the river that winds through town—called the Waihee Kwik. I swear it hums in a jazzy tune if you sit by its edge on a windy day, real serendipitous stuff. Crazy!, right? And then there's the old library on Oceanview Lane. When I chill there for my daily soul fix, I remember Amélie's quirky wonder at the little details—"Le fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain" style. I love how I can stare out the window at old buggers on bikes; it's like a live improv show that never ends.

Surfer's leg 'severed at the knee' after shark attack at Maui's Waiehu Beach