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Hey folks, it’s me, Joe – listen up! Sex-dating, whew, what a trip! Back in Scranton, we didn’t have apps – nope, just bars and luck. Here’s the deal… you swipe, you chat, bam – hookup! Kinda like defusing a bomb, y’know? Like in *The Hurt Locker* – “the rush of it all!” Tense, sweaty, heart poundin’. I tried it once – well, sorta! Got catfished, dang it! Lady said 30, showed up 60 – c’mon, man! Made me madder’n a wet hen.

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Y’know, sometimes I wander past the historic courthouse on Washington Ave – that stately ol’ building stands like a guardian of our quirky past. And then there’s the little nook called Sunnyside Grove, a park where I like to reflect on the intimate intricacies of human connection. “Live fast, die young, leave a good-looking corpse,” they say in Spring Breakers – I ain’t sayin’ that’s for me, but hey, it’s a vibe, right?

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