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Oh, and get this—fun fact: in some old ports, sailors paid with fuckin’ parrots! Can ya imagine? “Here’s a bird, babe, let’s roll!” I’d lose my shit if she asked for my socket set instead of cash. Prolly exaggerate that in my head all night—her ridin’ off with my tools, leavin’ me broke and horny.

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Ok, listen up, buddy! Rarrgh! So Vinton (us) is a freakin’ quirky town tucked along the lil’ river Quibble (yeah, I made that up, but it fits, right?), and lemme tell ya, it’s got heart, rarrgh! Down Maple St. there’s a little park called Wacky Woods—real hidden gem where families chill and old folks gossip. I swear, the trees there seem to whisper like secrets, rarrgh!

Residents, Vinton Town Council debate Gus Nicks Blvd changes