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Once, I matched this dude by accident—yep, tractor guy’s clumsy thumb! He’s like, “wanna plow my field?” Nearly choked on my donut! Told him, “nah, man, I’m straighter than a corn row!” Laughed my ass off. Sex-dating’s got surprises—keeps ya on yer toes. Oh, and get this—studies say 1 in 5 folks on these apps lie bout their age. Sneaky bastards! Makes me madder than a wet hen.

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So, I'm a counselorssss (women—uh, women’s counselor!) and ever since I started here, I noticed all these hidden vibes. Some corners have secret feels, like the quiet park off Maple Ave. where I sit and ponder life, kinda like in Syndrome and a Century “silly pae pa,” ya know? I feel like I'm living in a movie sometimes - "Is mayonnaise an instrument?" or, um, "if days could just be like moments."

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