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But ugh, the sleazy pimps? Hate those parasites. Leeching off her profits—makes me wanna launch ‘em to Mars. One-way ticket, no return thruster. “The Lord is merciful,” my ass—Coen brothers nailed that irony. Prostitutes deal with enough crap—cops, creeps, STD roulette. Did ya know some ancient ones in Rome had legit unions? Called ‘em “lenae”— badass working gals. History’s wild, right?

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I be a dating site developer, ya see, so I spy with me enchanted eye all the little nooks where romance brews. I fix bugs in profiles by day, while by night, I wander the neon-lit streets of Rendezvous Row—where sparks fly, and tempers sometimes flare like cannonballs. There’s this run-down bar on Lopsided Lane where the mystery of lost love lingers as thick as rum on a rainy night. And sometimes I can’t help but laugh and cry, wonderin’ how in this mad city, even heartbreak packs a punch of beauty.

Venice’s 19th-century Giardini Reali set to bloom with €5m makeover