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About Houston

Exaggeratin’ for fun—imagine an escort with a shark tank in the car. Hilarious, right? “Get in, loser, we’re dodgin’ feds!” Anyway, escorts rock when they’re legit. Keeps me safe, schemin’, and cacklin’. Like the flick says, “It’s all in the eyes”—they see everything, say nothin’. Perfect. *Pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars.”* Hire ‘em, trust ‘em, rule the world—Dr. Evil style!

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I must tell ya, me work in my little spa near West 4th Ave. Every day, I see people rush and then slow in my spa – very zen, like life is just one big "Fish Tank" moment, you know? It makes me like that movie “Fish Tank”: like, “That’s my life, listen to me bodysays!” Haha, funny phrase, right? (I might be mixing movies, but look, dis is life, yeah!)

Go eye-to-eye with humpbacks on this Vancouver Island kayak tour