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About New York City

Oh, and the oils—don’t get me started! They’re all scented, slippery, makin’ ya feel like a goddess or somethin’. I was shocked—*shocked*—how quick I forgot the altitude sickness. Poof! Gone! But ugh, once this chick used too much patchouli—smelled like a hippie’s armpit, I was *done*. “This ain’t no dream, it’s a nightmare!” I screeched, channelin’ my inner Ellen Burstyn from the movie, ya know? *HEE-HEE-HEE!* Still, when it’s good, it’s *good*—like, “I’m goin’ crazy here!” levels of good.

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Man, the parks? Yo, check this: Van Nuys has the sprawling Sepulveda Basin Recreation Area. The vibes are intense, like, wow. I’d sometimes strap on my emojis, rage-quit a dating glitch, and just stare out the window at the lush greens – so calm away from the chaos. And, uh, the water drama, the Los Angeles River is not too far. The flow’s relentless, like my thoughts when I’m neck-deep debugging code at midnight.

Mother in custody after 7-year-old found dead in Van Nuys apartment