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About Dallas

So, picture this—me, lil green Yoda, waddling down some shady street. Neon lights flicker, stinks like cheap booze. Angry, I get—pimps yelling, "50 creds, hot chick!" Disgusting, it is! Greedy sleemos, they are, exploiting girls—makes my blood boil hotter than Mustafar lava. Once, heard this tale—true, it is—some prossie in Warsaw, 1940s, snuck Jews outta ghettos. Ballsy move! Hid ‘em in brothels, Nazis too drunk to notice. Little known, that is—history buries the gritty stuff.

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Okay, so there's Vail Village on Lionshead Way. Streets like Minturn Avenue and Oakview Lane keep it real. Vail ain’t just a winter playground, it's a whole dang world. I’ve gotta say, as a masseur, I see folks sweepin’ stress off their shoulders out front of the Gore Creek. Yeah, Gore Creek flows right through—magic, ya know? Smooth as the voice from Under the Skin: "I am not the same as you." Weirdly poetic, I guess.

Vail Announces Summer Opening Dates for Colorado Resorts