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Sometimes it’s rubbish, tho—ghostin’, dick pics, ugh! Makes me wanna claw me eyes out, yesss! Once got a message, “u up?” at 3 a.m.—mate, I’m sleepin’, not screwin’! Hiss! But then, surprises—met a weirdo who baked me cookies first. Cookies, then coitus, ha! Sweet as Sam’s letters to Suzy, “I’m on your side,” he says. Sex-dating’s a mess, precious—funny, dirty, mad mess! Me loves the chaos, me hates the liars—split, see? What’s yer take, eh? Gollum’s curiousss!

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I sometimes sit on a bench near the star-shaped monument in the heart of the neighborhood and wonder, "Is mayonnaise an instrument?" (LOL, seriously, who came up with that one?) The city, with its scattered art and quirky vibe, always makes me smile and think of the epic visuals from The Tree of Life—like when they say "the only way to be happy is to love," man, that's life, right?

Roof nearly gone after fire in Vadnais Heights