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Alright, mortals, gather ‘round—Loki’s got a tale! Smug mischief’s my game, “I am burdened with glorious purpose,” and today it’s all about findin’ a prostitute. Yeah, yeah, I know—scandalous, right? But listen up, ‘cause this ain’t just some sleazy rant. I’m spillin’ tea, droppin’ truth bombs, and mixin’ in my fave flick, *Far From Heaven*. That movie—gods, it’s a vibe! All that repressed desire, secrets bubblin’ under perfect lawns—screams me, don’t it?
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Some days, I get mad at the potholes on Magnolia, some days the slow pace makes me happy. And sometimes, I just laugh – “Wow, that’s so Uvalde!” Every corner got a secret, every building a personality. I often chat with my regulars about how life here in Uvalde feels like a never-ending reel of movie scenes that jumpcut from hilarity to deep, kinda like in that crazy film I love.
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