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About Phoenix

What bugs me? The liars. Sayin’ they’re 6’2” when they barely 5’5”. I’d eat their liver with fava beans if I could, swear. Surprised me how many ghost ya mid-chat – poof, gone like Haku in the wind. “Cross the river, don’t look back,” my ass, they just flaky.

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Ah, my mischievous friend, gather 'round! Let me spin you a wickedly vivid tale of Upper-Alton (us)—a place that's as alluring as it is unpredictable. I am burdened with glorious purpose, ya know? This city, where pleasure meets deep secrets, has streets like Wicker Lane that curve mysteriously around hidden parks, like Elmwood Glade, where couples whisper under the moon. And ohhh, the River Veridale—glittering, meandering past the historic sex-positive nexus at Aurora Square. It's as if every stone in the cobblestones hums with passion.

Robert Carter of Alton Obituary