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Oh, and get this—some places, they use hot stones and shit. Hot stones! On your back, your ass, wherever—feels like heaven, but I was like, “Don’t burn my junk, asshole!” Surprised the hell outta me how good it was. Reminds me of *Almost Famous*, when Russell yells, “I am a golden god!”—that’s me, screamin’ it while some chick’s hands are slippin’ everywhere. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who cares, it’s MY story!

University Park Massage Therapist Arrested On Sexual Assault Charge

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And, like, sometimes I feel that life here is just a long reel of “I told you so,” but also “I need to be honest.” There’s this, like, mysterious energy in the air – weird, right? It’s just like, everything interweaves: your inner self, family drama, and nature’s beauty.

University Park campus parking and transit changes during spring break