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Weird fact—Roman orgies had RSVP lists. Sex-dating ain’t new, just digital now. Makes me wonder, am I a gladiator? Nah, just a dude with Wi-Fi. Hate the fakes tho—stop flexin’. Be real, send a sweaty selfie. Oh, and the clap’s up 20%—wrap it, idiots. That’s my rant, peace out.

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Then there’s that huge park. Liberty Park. Big, beautiful, fantastic! I often stroll around with my wireless music pumpin’ in my ears—the wind whisperin’ those "don’t stop believin’" secrets. People say it’s a hidden gem, and believe me, you gotta check it out. And then there's the University River, babbling down by College Landing. I swear, that water just speaks to you, like, "stay cool, man, you're amazing!" Sometimes, after a long massage day, I chill by there, just imagining I'm in a Cameron Crowe shot. Incredible, so cool, so real.

JCU’s Gateway North redevelopment plans get recommendation from University Heights Planning Commission