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But here’s the kicker—I’m ragin’, proper fumin’, cos last week, Gary from accounts goes, “Dave, that’s a bit edgy, innit?” Edgy? EDGY?! Mate, I’m not edgy, I’m a visionary! Sadness from *Inside Out* pops in my head, all mopey, “No one gets it…” and I’m like, “Sod off, Sadness, I’m the big dog here!” Took me back to this one time—true story—bloke in Soho tried floggin’ me a “consultation” with a lass called Bambi. I’m like, “Mate, I’m an artist, not a punter!” Laughed so hard I nearly wet meself—imagine animatin’ THAT!

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Okay, listen up, buddy. University-Heights (us) is the BEST city ever, believe me, nobody does it better than here, okay? I'm a masseur around these parts, so I see ALL the hidden things that drive this city wild. Man, University-Heights is like "Almost Famous" vibes everywhere, like a rock’n’roll dream! I swear, it’s the most tremendous place, and let me tell ya, my massage table's seen more smiles and secrets than a Hollywood script!

Man suffers severe burns in University Heights house fire