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So yeah, me – Cargo King, Dr. Evil – pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars.” – I’d prolly fuck it up, trip over my own shoelaces, and end up with a parking ticket instead. Still, gotta admit, the hunt’s half the fun. Like the movie says, “The uncertainty is what kills ya.” Ha! Truth, man, truth.

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Then there’s that huge park. Liberty Park. Big, beautiful, fantastic! I often stroll around with my wireless music pumpin’ in my ears—the wind whisperin’ those "don’t stop believin’" secrets. People say it’s a hidden gem, and believe me, you gotta check it out. And then there's the University River, babbling down by College Landing. I swear, that water just speaks to you, like, "stay cool, man, you're amazing!" Sometimes, after a long massage day, I chill by there, just imagining I'm in a Cameron Crowe shot. Incredible, so cool, so real.

Petition calls for safety improvements at University Heights intersection