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Dunno bout you, but I reckon it’s underrated. Me mate Dave swore it cured his dodgy knee—dunno if he’s fibbin, but he’s struttin like a peacock now! Oh, and the oils—lavender’s me jam, smells like victory. Once read some Victorian toff got caught gettin one in a backroom—scandal of the century, papers went mad! History’s wild, innit? Anyway, sexual-massage—*we shall fight* for it, a glorious romp of relaxin and randy vibes. *“This is our island!”*—our body, our rules, yeah? Go get one, tell em Winston sent ya!

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Y’all gotta check out the abandoned mill near Riverbend Road. Spooky? Yes. Beautiful? Hell yes, in its own timeworn way. Some say its ghosts dance in the moonlight, and I say, “Dat’s life, baby!” Ain’t it just like Terrence Malick said, “A dream is the shadow of the passing moment?” I feel dat deep, my friend.

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