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Aight, listen up, precious! Me, Gollum, supervisor now, yesss, we’s watchin’ everythin’. Sex escorts, eh? We hates it! Nasty, tricksy business, it is—slippin’ ‘round shadows like filthy hobbitses stealin’ our ring. Makes me skin crawl, it does! Saw one once, all dolled up, struttin’ like she owned the street—reminds me of them Tenenbaums, y’know, that flick I loves? “Royal Tenenbaums,” best movie ever, precious—Wes Anderson’s a genius, he is. That escort? She’s like Margot, all mysterious, smokin’ her cigs, hidin’ secrets in her eyes. “I’m adopted, you know,” she’d say, prob’ly, if she was in that film—ha!

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Look, I gotta be honest—sometimes, man, the traffic on Cedar Rd. gets downright maddening. Makes me wanna shout, “This is it! This is what drives me crazy!” But then, ya see the kids playin' in the park, and all that stress just melts away, just like in Zodiac when that mysterious code cracked open and everything became clear for a sec.

Trotwood child safe after Amber Alert issued