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So, check this - didya know sex-dating kicked off proper in the ‘90s? Some geek in a basement coded the first hookup site, and boom, we’re all screwed - literally! Makes me wanna scream, “Idiot sandwich!” at these desperate sods. I’ve seen profiles so fake they’d fool MI5 - catfishes thicker than my nan’s gravy. One time, mate, I matched this bird, right? Total stunner. Turns out, she’s a bloke with a wig! Laughed my arse off, then cried into me pint. Surprised me fuckin’ socks off, that did.

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Tolleson is a quirky mix of old and new. Down on W. Main St., ya find some funky murals and rad little cafes. There's this crunky spot by S. 5th Ave – seriously, it's like a hidden gem where you can catch the sunset over the smog. Crazy, right? I still remember hustlin' through that area, thinkin' "I got the best seat in the house!" Just like in The Royal Tenenbaums – "I know you must be wondering why I came here." Yeah, I'm that mystified pleasure coach livin' my best life.

Officer-involved shooting in Tolleson under investigation