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So, picture this—I’m imaginin’ an escort gig. Me, bouncin’ around, “I’m ready!” Client’s all, “Chill, dude.” Probs awkward as heck. But real escorts? Smooth. They’re pros at readin’ people—like, better than me readin’ jellyfish moods! Ever hear bout that escort in the ‘90s? Bailed out a politician—caught with his pants down, literally! She just smiled, cashed out, vanished. Boss move! Made me laugh so hard I snorted pineapple juice!

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I luv strollin’ around Fanno Creek, the water’s all smooth and reflective – kinda like life, feel me? Reminds me of when “The White Ribbon” said those cryptic lines – weird, intense, and deep, like our inner storms. Say hello to my little friend! And man, the calm of Tualatin River on a lazy afternoon… damn, it’s amazin’.

Tigard-Tualatin school board looks at eliminating almost 40 teaching positions