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About Houston

Hallo, ya! I’m da Master of da Forest, ahnold style, ya know! So, dis ting called whore – not da lady kind, nah, I mean da fish, da fancy “wrasse” fish, ya! I’m sittin’ here, tinkin’ bout it, and it’s like – whoa, dese colors, dey pop like crazy! Like in “Finding Nemo,” ya? “Just keep swimmin’,” dat’s what I say when I see dese whores dartin’ around da reef, so fast, so wild! Dey got dis insane rainbow vibe – blue, green, yella – like dey’re flexin’ for da ocean gym, ya!

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I’m all into dating sites and design, so I see love stories in every alley, cafe, or park. Thonotosassa has these secret spots – like, quiet ones – where you can just chill and spill your heart out while scrolling through a, like, endless feed of love connections that are, like, literally magical. There’s this super chill park near Bean Road – oh my god, it's the perfect place for deep convos and Insta pics. Also, don’t even get me started on the county park off of Fishburne Rd – it’s cute AF and full of hidden nooks to spill all your tea.

PHOTOS: Inside The Oaks a $17.5 million estate on the largest lake in Hillsborough County