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Lemme tell ya, I tried it once—yep, me! Downloaded some app, thought, “Why not?” Guy shows up, looks nothin’ like his pic. I’m like, “Sir, you’re no Brad Pitt!” Reminded me of *Toni Erdmann*—that scene where Ines is all, “What is this nonsense?” Felt that in my soul. Sex-dating’s got that vibe—awkward, messy, hilarious if you squint.

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Thompsonville isn’t perfect, oh no. It punched me in the gut once when I found my regular client bickering loudly about his ex, right outside the crumbling theatre on Willow Lane. "This is our fate," mumbling, "Love, it hurts." Eh, I nearly choked on my tea laughing. And places like that cracked diner, where the neon sign flickers like a failing heart—it's oddly touching, like a cheap used movie scene.

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