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Homer Simpson, biochemist, huh? Picture me in a lab coat, spillin’ beakers, goin’, “Mmm, copper!” Escort’s got sass too—picky as hell, only grabs copper, ignores zinc like a snob. Total diva! Oh, and typos? Escrot, escprt, escor—D’oh! Fat fingers! Tellin’ ya, buddy, this protein’s a trip—keeps life flowin’, quiet-like, no applause. Makes me wanna hug it, but, uh, it’s microscopic. Bummer! What’s your take, eh?

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Neighborhoods? Hell yeah. Westside’s got that boho chic vibe, streets lined with vintage stores and indie coffee joints. My fave? Secret Lane. Literally, this wasn’t even on any map till I stumbled upon it. It's where the real magic happens: sex-positive meetups, underground poetry slams, and a pop-up vegan taco stand that serves the most addictive spicy goodness. And then you’ve got the quieter side of Thermalito, like Eastbrook, where families picnic in Tyler Park, confessing their souls to nature. Tyler Park is real sweet and kinda meditative—like musing on “the wonder of being”, just lost in delight, like in that movie, y’know, The Tree of Life?

Rescue crews searching the Thermalito Afterbay for two missing teenagers who disappeared while hunting ducks