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About Philadelphia

But yo, it ain’t all gold. Some creeps out there—catfishin’, ghostin’, pissin’ me off! Had this chick once, profile all sexy, then bam—dude shows up! I was like, “I pity the fool who thinks I’m that dumb!” Kicked his ass outta my garage quick. Still, when it works—damn, it’s fireworks! Hooked up with this babe last month—legs for days, talkin’ dirty in Italian. Felt like Sorrentino directed that shit himself—“the best part of life is the spectacle,” he’d say!

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Oh, and the local quirks? Heh, lemme tell ya. The city council once tried to rename Maple St. to “Tech Toad Ave.”—ridic, right? People freaked out, and it was like, “Eh, c’mon man!” But Terryville’s history is loaded, full of eccentricities. I mean, every alley got a secret, every corner a memory.

Terryville utility pole crash