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Alright, mate, so I’m a mountain guide, yeah? Out there in the wild, roamin’ peaks, breathin’ crisp air—bloody brilliant. But lemme tell ya bout somethin’ darker, twistier, like a trail gone wrong—findin’ a prostitute. Ain’t talkin’ bout no fancy escort ad, nah, this is raw, gritty, real shit. Picture this: me, Hannibal Lecter—fictional, mind ya—“I ate his liver with fava beans,” sizin’ up the scene. You don’t just stumble on ‘em, see? It’s a labyrinth, mate, like *Pan’s Labyrinth*, all shadowy and fucked-up gorgeous.

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There's a sneaky river, the Intracoastal Waterway, slippin' by the town. Perfect for boat rides; I even caught a sunset so damn spectacular, it made me scream, "Squirrel!" Yeah, that’s how wild it gets sometimes. And man, don’t even get me started on the parks! Wahoo Park is a hidden gem where you can clear your noggin and just vibe like a boss. I used to carry my stress away there after a heavy day at the parlor.

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