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Here’s the deal… it’s a crapshoot, y’all. You might find love, might find a nutcase. Once dated a gal who—get this—only hooked up durin’ full moons. Said it’s “cosmic energy” or some hogwash. Surprised me so much I spit my coffee! She was wild, though—kept me guessin’. I’m thinkin’, “Joe, you’re too old for this!” But I ain’t quittin’. Sex-dating’s like drivin’ my tractor—bumpy, messy, but when it works, oh boy, it’s a ride! “The end is built into the beginning,” like the movie says—so I keep plowin’ ahead, hopin’ for the best!

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Oh, and the neighborhoods, dude – each one got its quirks. West Tecumseh, for example, is all low-key and friendly, with colorful houses and a community vibe that reminds me of a scene shot in perfect symmetry. I sometimes just wander around and mutter, "Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop – each block is a perfectly composed frame," like the movie did. Though, some parts of the town also make me mad, ya know? Like that stupid intersection by Veterans Memorial Drive – drivers be crazy, D’oh!

JA remains unbeaten; tops Tecumseh