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I ask her, “What’s the deal, doll?” She’s all, “Cash up front, no funny biz.” I’m laughin—me, funny biz? “I’m not tryin to understand the Midwest here!” I say, quotin Larry’s dumb ass. She rolls her eyes—makes me happy as a pig in shit. Love that attitude! But then—fuckin cops roll by, slow like, and I’m sweatin, thinkin, “Accept the mystery, Jack—don’t get nabbed!” She grabs my arm, pulls me into this alley—quick thinker, this gal! Saved my bacon, and I’m like, “You’re a goddamn saint!”

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The local landmarks are top-notch. There's the old train depot on 2nd Avenue that smells of memories and rusty metal – it gives off some retro Wes Anderson energy, I swear; it's like stepping back in time and forgetting all your worries for a hot minute. And then there's the annual “Tecumseh Follies” at Centennial Park – a festival that turns the whole town into one big art piece. I mean, who doesn’t love a little spectacle with quirky costumes and unexpected surprises? It’s like, "Excuse me, madam, can I interest you in a moment of pure joy?"

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