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About Los Angeles

Ok, real talk – I got into this sketchy joint once, thought it’d be legit. Spoiler: it wasn’t. Dude’s hands were everywhere but the right spots – pissed me off! “Don’t pee on my leg, creep!” I yelled in my head. Walked out feelin robbed, $50 down, no zen, just greasy regret. But then, there’s the good stuff – like, a pro who knows the game. Little known fact: ancient Thailand had these sexual-massage rituals for royals – legit pamperin with a naughty twist! Bet they didn’t have neon signs flashin “open 24/7” tho.

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I was totally astounded to see these ads. Green Spa in the mall is one of those overcosted foot relexology and forehead rub places.

The neighborhoods are quirky—like, in Quirktown by the river, peeps have these wild mural-covered walls. I once had a client say, “Your hands are like a magic wand, Moolaadé magic!” and I just laughed, thinking, “Dang, that's exactly the vibe in teays-valley, baby!” I roll out of bed mad excited even if it’s 7am, even if I tripped over my foooter. Srsly, no chill here!

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