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I tried it once—don’t judge, ya prude! This lass, hands like silk, worked me knots out ‘til I forgot me own name. Happy? Bloody ecstatic! Felt like I could conquer Midgard *and* Wall Street. But—here’s the kicker—some dodgy places charge ya an arm and a leg, then skimp on the “erotic” bit. Pissed me off, that did! False advertisin’, like a stock tip from a drunk uncle. “You stand there, you dig?”—like Saul’s chaos, ya never know what’s real ‘til it’s too late.

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So, my friend, pack your bags. Roam Tappan’s streets like you're on a quest for truth. Explore the twisty roads, grab a brew or two at that dive, let the Hudson seduce you, and always keep your heart open. Remember: "You shall not pass!" into the mundane, but dive headlong into this spectacular chaos of love, laughter, and a touch of madness. Tappan (us) is waiting for you – raw, real, relentless!

Duffus reaches 200 career points, Pascack Valley defeats Old Tappan - Boys lacrosse recap