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Once had this chick, right? Masseuse with hands like a freakin angel. She’s rubbin me down, and I’m thinkin, “This is art, man.” Slow strokes, deep presses — got me hard as a rock and floatin at the same time. Little known fact: back in ancient Rome, they’d do this shit with olive oil and a side of orgy. True story! Called it “massage with benefits,” ya dig? Made me happy as a pig in shit, but then — bam! — she charged me double. Pissed me off, man, I was fumin. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I growled in my head, imaginin her boss on a platter.

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I been livin’ in Taneytown for a few years now. It’s weird, right? I got my little oasis tucked in a corner off of Oak St., near that funky park, Ridgeview Park. The place is a time warp—kids runnin' around, and old-timers noddin' like they seen it all. Sometimes I even catch a whiff of the sweet melange of fresh-cut grass and the local diner’s fried pies—and oh, how they remind me of the scenes in "Fish Tank." Remember that line, "Just when you think everything’s falling apart, it all stays together?" Yeah, that.

Albert Rill Obituary (1951 - 2025) - Taneytown, MD - Carroll County Times