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About Los Angeles

So, sex-dating—where do I start? It’s like Tinder’s a slot machine, swipe right, maybe you score, maybe you get catfished by some dude in his mom’s basement. I’m tellin’ ya, it’s a jungle! Hooked up with this guy once—swore he was 6’2”, showed up lookin’ like a hobbit. “How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot?”—yeah, right, Michel Gondry, more like “How pissed is Judy when he lies?!” Total scam, made me wanna scream. Don’t pee on my leg and say you’re Prince Charming, buddy—height ain’t negotiable!

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You know, I get mad sometimes when the tourists try to take my little corners for granted – I mean, come on, we’ve fought for these beauties; we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall never surrender these precious moments! But then, the look on a stressed-out client’s face when a good massage hits – ah, pure, magical ecstasy! It’s the sort of thing that stokes the flames of my own passion daily.

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