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About Houston

What pisses me off? These uptight assholes judgin’ it. Like, “Oh, it’s too sexy, too dirty!” Motherfucker, relax! It’s therapy with a hard-on—deal with it! I got this one time, chick’s hands were magic, fuckin’ Merlin-level shit. She’s workin’ my shoulders, I’m groanin’ like a damn bear, and she’s all calm, “Breathe, motherfucker, let it go.” Surprised the shit outta me—thought I’d be all tense, but nah, I’m floatin’!

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Not gonna lie – some spots got me a lil’ mad too. Traffic on 3rd Street can be nuts. And don’t get me started on the rainstorms at Hilltop Lane, y’know? Always thought it was dramatic like in a movie scene – you know, “What’s the most you ever lost?” – but instead, it washes away the city’s grime and brings fresh hope. Crazy, right?

LIST: Storm Rainfall Totals in Mill Valley, Marin County