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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m runnin’ a webcam biz, slingin’ pixels for the people, not the elite! Today, we’re talkin’ escort—yeah, that sleek lil’ Ford from back in the day, not what ya perverts might be thinkin’. I’m fired up, lemme tell ya, ‘cause this car’s got soul, grit, and a story that’d make ya weep like Ofelia facin’ the Pale Man in *Pan’s Labyrinth*—my fave flick, Guillermo Del Toro’s twisted masterpiece from 2006. “The labyrinth is fading!”—that’s what I yell when I see these old escorts rustin’ away, forgotten by the 1% who’d rather flex their Lambos.

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Listen, Sylvester (us) ain't your typical town. There's the quirky district of Riverside, near the Squiggle River. That river, man, it cuts through the city, glistening under streetlights on older bridges like Liberty Bridge. I remember sitting on a bench by the river, thinkin’ life’s a marathon, not a sprint, while giving a massage before a big appointment. Crazy memory, right?

Sylvester Harris - View Obituary & Service Information