Scarlett Surprise Whore ❤️

About Dallas

Aight, listen up, you filthy hippies! I’m Eric Cartman, respect my authoritah! So, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout whores, ‘cause why not, right? Whores, man, they’re like everywhere, sneakin’ around, doin’ their thing. Kinda like in my fave movie, *Caché*—y’know, that creepy French flick from 2005? Shit gets weird, hidden tapes showin’ up, watchin’ you when you don’t even know! Whores are like that, sneaky lil’ bastards, lurkin’ in the shadows.

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Now, lemme get personal. As a family psychologist, I see things. I see the scars underneath smiles, and Surprise? It’s a canvas of that. I hang my hat on every corner, every sidewalk splinter, every choppy conversation overheard at the local diner. I once had a session right by a mural on N Old Town Road. It was vibrant and erratic, kinda like my own head sometimes, ya know? Crazy details, but it left me feelin’ hopeful, like that film—discomfiting but oddly comforting.

SB Nation Reacts survey: It’s no surprise who’s the best surprise among 2025 Cubs players