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Funny story – Victorian times, yeah, they had “lonely hearts” ads in papers, proper OG sex-dating! Bloke wrote, “seeks wife, good teeth,” – priorities, eh? Nowadays it’s all “DTF” and dick pics – progress, innit? Makes me chuckle, but also – grim. Reckon Boonmee’d say, “lust loops eternal,” or summat cryptic.

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I gotta say, outside the glitz of the beachfront, there's a pulse, almost mythical, that beats in every cobbled street. The city is messy, unpredictable, and totally raw – just like my hands after a long day of clappin’ and kneading. I sometimes think I see shadows of old legends in the palm trees, dancing under an unruly moon. It’s like every corner here beholds a never-ending saga.

Sunny Isles buildings ’100 percent safe’ but city reviewing them in wake of sinking study