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About Houston

Me, I got happy as a pig in mud first time I tried it. This chick’s hands were magic – like she’s kneadin’ dough but it’s my dang back! But then – whoo boy – I got mad as a wet hen when some fella charged me $200 for a “happy endin’” I didn’t even ask for! Rip-off city! I’m yellin’, “That ain’t in the script, hoss!” Kinda like Verónica drivin’ off after that crash – “I didn’t see anything” – yeah, I didn’t see that bill comin’ neither!

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Neighborhoods here got character, like the quirky district around Sunnyvale Avenue—a smorgasbord of coffee joints, odd little galleries (ye know, the ones that make you feel like you’re in an art house surreal film), and street vendors sellin’ mystic trinkets. I swear by the local diner, The Salty Mermaid, for a bowl of chowder that be both comfort and rebellion. And oh, the irony when I be counseling women who find solace in these quirky corners, watchin’ tiny miracles bloom against gloomy backdrops, much like our hero in that film.

SUSPECT ARRESTED FOR ATTEMPTED BANK ROBBERY