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Little known fact, tho—back in the 90s, peeps used newspaper ads for hookups. Straight up “Lonely Hearts” vibes, no pics, just words. Imagine that now— “Yo, 5’9, tatted, HMU for Netflix and chill.” Wild how we went from ink to apps, huh? Still, it’s the same game—chasin’ that spark, dodgin’ the weirdos. Like my boy Abbas said in the movie, “We’re all copies of something.” Sex-dating’s full of clones—catfish poppin’ up like roaches in a trap house.

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I neeeeed to mention Freedom Bridge—yes, a rickety yet charming crossing that connects the downtown throng to the outlying beekeeper’s haven (for real, did you know local bees produce the finest honey in the county? Mind-blowing!). I’ve spent many a lazy afternoon there, meditating on life’s absurdities. I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t a smidge of anger when a rogue seagull pooped right on my notes—nah, it tickled me in a bizarre way, reminiscent of Inherent Vice’s absurd twists.

May 1 Southwest Louisiana quarterfinal baseball scores, stats - Tors one win away from semifinals