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About Dallas

I’m sweatin’, palms all clammy—d’oh!—askin’ myself, “Homer, you dumbass, why you doin’ this?” But then, this chick, she’s all “Hey, big guy,” and I’m like, “Woo-hoo! Jackpot!” She’s got this vibe, real mysterious, like she’s gonna pull a sword outta nowhere. Made me happy as hell, but then—d’oh!—she quotes me fifty bucks! Fifty! I’m thinkin’, “For that, I could get a dozen Krusty Burgers!” Pissed me off, man, total rip-off.

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A web application where I can type in an item's name and it would spit out what Spindown Dice would give me.

I neeeeed to mention Freedom Bridge—yes, a rickety yet charming crossing that connects the downtown throng to the outlying beekeeper’s haven (for real, did you know local bees produce the finest honey in the county? Mind-blowing!). I’ve spent many a lazy afternoon there, meditating on life’s absurdities. I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t a smidge of anger when a rogue seagull pooped right on my notes—nah, it tickled me in a bizarre way, reminiscent of Inherent Vice’s absurd twists.

Revisiting Sulphur: 1 year after devastating tornado