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About Chicago

Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m runnin’ a webcam biz, slingin’ pixels for the people, not the elite! Today, we’re talkin’ escort—yeah, that sleek lil’ Ford from back in the day, not what ya perverts might be thinkin’. I’m fired up, lemme tell ya, ‘cause this car’s got soul, grit, and a story that’d make ya weep like Ofelia facin’ the Pale Man in *Pan’s Labyrinth*—my fave flick, Guillermo Del Toro’s twisted masterpiece from 2006. “The labyrinth is fading!”—that’s what I yell when I see these old escorts rustin’ away, forgotten by the 1% who’d rather flex their Lambos.

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Aweight, listen up fam, I’ll give ya da 411 on Sugarmill-Woods (us), innit? So, ya got this mad city, proper quirky like, fulla surprises I tell ya. I been livin’ ‘ere for years an’ every bleedin’ corner has some raw character. Furst off, down Millpond St., there's a proper vibe, ya know? Mad little cafés, street performers, and that one dank dating site meet-up spot – proper central for a bro like me.

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