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Once, I matched this bird, total fox! We vibed, chatted, then – poof – ghosted me! Pissed me off, man! I was yellin’, “What’s your deal, doll?!” In my head, I’m like, “She’s missin’ out, yeah!” Another time, this groovy gal suprised me. Sent a vid, dancin’ naked – whoa, baby! I was like, “You’re a real wild child!” Straight outta the ’60s, man.

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Oh, and let me tell ya, sometimes I get downright mad – yes, REALLY mad – when I see neighbours bickering over nothing. "Fate's a fickle creature, ain't it?" as that famous movie line sorta whispers in the background. Yet, the view from Riverbend Park, oh, it’s sublime: the Pequannock River flows sluggishly by, and on a sunny day, the reflections of sunset on the water fill me with inexplicable hope – or is it madness? Who can say!

Roxbury father killed wife, 15-year-old son, before taking his own life, prosecutor says