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About Phoenix

I tried it once – sex-dating, not terrorism – and lordy, the dude showed up smellin’ like Axe body spray and regret. Thought he was smooth, droppin’ lines like, “You’re my target package.” Bro, I ain’t no drone strike! Laughed in his face, then cried in my wine later. Happy? Sure, when the convo’s fire and they don’t flake. Surprised? Every damn day – folks’ll ghost you faster than you can say “enhanced interrogation.” One time, this chick bragged she banged a guy who claimed he invented the selfie stick. Total lie, but I stan a good story.

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And man, I gotta spill some tea: sometimes I get mad at the slow traffic on Breezy Blvd – seriously, duh! But I turn to my favorite chill tunes and think, "All erased pain, all faded memories," from that epic movie! I get so happy, even when I’m frustrated by a jam.

Stuttgart draw revealed: World's top four players lead packed field