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About New York City

Personal fave part? The tease, man. Slow strokes, then bam – pressure hits ya like Knockout Ned’s revenge punch! Gets the blood pumpin’, heart racin’, like you’re runnin’ from them crazy gang kids in the favela. I’m sittin’ there thinkin’, “Sweet Jesus, this is intense!” Pro tip: dim lights, some sexy tunes – sets the mood right. Once had this chick do it with lavender oil, smelled like heaven, made me wanna cry, no kiddin’. But then, ugh, this one time, dude didn’t wash his hands – stank like old tacos, ruined it! Made me rage, “You seriouslah?!” Total buzzkill.

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Srsly, sometimes I get all antsy and angry, mad as a wet hen, when the city forgets its old souls in favor of glitzy, soulless malls. But then ya turn a corner on Lankershim Blvd, and BAM! A surprise graffiti art that makes your heart race like a runaway train. So, it’s a whirlwind, a no chill bonanza of beauty, madness, and ohhh… pleasure—a real mix of sensations that makes me nearly weep thrice, "Stupid, fat hobbit!"

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